Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Divided States of America (Shemar Cooper)

Thank you for stopping by as always, my goal is to transform and elevate your life. As a 5x Author, I write subjectively and objectively. However, objectively isn't always accepted in society as it doesn't align with the American Psychological Association (APA). At any rate, this blog is written from my personal experience and therefore will come from my personal beliefs.

As a parent, our job is to support what our children believe in. For as long as it is empowering, we have no right to force our beliefs, thoughts or opinions on them and make them feel what we do. They are young people who need guidance, love & affection. My son is firm in his belief that America and it's racist system expresses hatred, racism, and brutality towards Black people, so he refuses to Stand for the Pledge. Many people think because he is a child, he has no rights. I beg to differ.

As adults, we need to get our thoughts together. Embrace and supports what your child chooses to believe. We're not allowed to indoctrinate them. We have no right to make them believe the lies, poor information and biased education we so eloquently accepted.   Allow your kids to be free thinkers and NOT brainwashed.

My son and I have been aired on the national news twice in the past six months for teachers violating his first amendment right, refusing to teach him, reprimanding him and bullying him for standing up for what he believes in and in this case SITTING DOWN.

How do we call America the land of the free, How? Are you free if you're Black? Are you free if you're a child? Are you free if you're Native American? Are you free if you're Hispanic or Latino? Are you free if you're Muslim? Are you free to express? There is absolutely nothing free in America other than being white. And even being white has its limitations. Unless you are white supremacists, you are nothing to America's dictators. Corporate America is a compilation of fifty states filled with slavery and division. None of us are safe here. We are all modern day slaves being programmed to turn against each other. Your Government, or Religion, FDA, Military, Healthcare, Education, Media, and the Penal system was systemically designed to destroy black people. Unfortunately, whites, Hispanics, Asians, Nigerians, Jews, and all others have been mentally destroyed by these same systems.

Your beliefs and values are yours. If your child expresses differently, it doesn't make them wrong, it makes them different, and that is acceptable. The Divided States of America is still in bondage, slavery and at any moment our freedoms will continue to be taken from us by Corporate America, not Mexico, not Pakistan, and not any other country. The Divided States of America is built on lies; the blood sweat & tears of black people and in the end, America will die by the actions of racism, oppression, indoctrination, hatred and segregation.

I will continue to support, love and honor my young Black King. He is worthy of being honored, not reprimanded or torn down. Parents stop teaching our Black Kids the lies we've been told. Stop projecting your fears of what could happen to them, onto them. Allow them to be, nurture them and nurture their goals, gifts & beliefs. They are not supposed to become you. They are not you.

In essence, Shemar Darrell Cooper is a King, and eventually, the world will see just how great he is. These two experiences brought light to the world, and I will continue to do the same. My son and I are gifts to the world as we are not seeking fame, nor fortune. We just do what is right even if we are forsaken. We exhibit great interest in people of all kinds. We want people to be free. Be free to speak, use their minds, and exercise their rights to choose.

I will die for my son and his beliefs. I am his mother and for anyone who chooses to degrade or bring harm will not prosper. We are covered by the Light of the Universe, and there is nothing you can do to us.

So parents, please support your young men & women. Do not make them surrender to the constraints of America. Teach them to stand up for what they believe in and support them as they do. Black people will never be considered Americans as it is an illusion of inclusion. With that being said, lead by example and never be led by the Divided States of America. We Are One.

Below are the links where Shemar and I are seen nationally standing up or in this case sitting down for what we believe in.





​Chicago teacher fired after refusing to teach student who sat out Pledge of Allegiance

Sincerely

Mama Bear (-:  

Kelley Porter Turner
  
I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships.

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

 


Contact me for more details.
773.419.3070
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul
 
Please share and comment below.
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day.


 

Monday, January 23, 2017

Hiding Our True Pain

Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to inspire and transform your life. 

I am writing this letter to express my deepest admiration, gratitude, and respect for you. You are the most courageous group of people I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have the opportunity to get to know you, sit with you and experience your journeys.

I think a lot of the work we do together, and I keep coming back to a word called "resistance" or "avoidance." I know, you are probably wondering what exactly do I mean, well, what I mean is, when most people tell their stories in everyday dialogue, we frequently put glitter on them. We say, “I had an ectopic pregnancy, and it was awful, but now I have two wonderful daughters.” We say, “I lost my apartment, and it was devastating, but my apartment today is so much bigger and better.” We say, “I was in an abusive relationship, but it’s over, and I learned so much from it.”

We usually don’t talk about the raw stuff in the middle. We don’t say, “After my ectopic pregnancy, I spent hours crying and blaming myself." And wondering what I could have done differently. In fact, that is what I did after my ectopic pregnancy, I wanted my child, and that experience hurt me for years as directly after it, I could no longer bear children the natural way. We don’t say, “When I lost my apartment, I felt worthless, embarrassed, was depressed and didn't want anyone to know." We don't say, “I didn't leave him because I was scared to be alone, felt like I would never have anyone else, so instead I ignored all the abuse and pretended as if it wasn't that bad."

Why don’t we tell these stories?

Well, for one, we’re worried about what others might think of us. In my books, Perfectly Planned and Overcoming Toxic Relationships, I was very transparent and vulnerable as I wanted to inspire others to remove the shame and embarrassment of experiencing pain. Pain is life. I shared my depression, my low self-worth and didn't care about what people thought. I know sometimes people become uncomfortable when hearing of others suffering, but, mainly because it shifts them to their painful experience that they would rather leave buried.

We also think these versions of our stories make us sound weak. We believe that if we admit our tough emotional times, others will not see us as the beautiful beings we are. We fear being perceived as weak, dramatic and "in our feelings," instead of being active and capable of conquering and releasing those things that no longer serve us a purpose. In reality, everybody goes through rough times and everyone deals with them differently.

It is okay to share the middle of your story where you felt your lowest. It is those moments that people can relate to and inspires others to know that they can move through. You don't have to pretend your life is perfect. No one has a perfect life.

So, to you my clients, when I meet you, or you show up in my email, inbox, or voicemail, you are welcome to give me your truth. You do not have to wear a mask with me. In fact, I expect you to come unmasked and ready to release.

I understand it's hard and some days you want to just lie on the floor or sit in the chair and cry your eyeballs out, I know. I have done exactly that before. Some days you come in, and you look like you want to lie down flat on the floor, and sometimes you hold your tear in and pretend to have it together. You don't have to with me. All I want you to do is explore all of your emotions, release those that no longer serve you a purpose and grow from the experience. Help me help you find your true self. 


Thank you for reading. Please post your comments below. Share if you have enjoyed. 


I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities.

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

START YOUR HEALING TODAY
Contact me for more details.
773.419.3070
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul

Divine International Healing & Leadership Center
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Friday, January 6, 2017

Ten Ways to Love on Self (Self-Care)

Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to transform your life. When you think about self-love, what exactly do you say? Do you think it's about buying yourself a nice gift or taking yourself on a date? Do you think it's about being selfish or self-preservation? Well, I happen to think it's about all of the above. I borrowed the image to the left and appeared as if the woman is embracing herself; that is an action of self-love. Well, how often do you get the opportunity to nurture yourself? I love on myself daily and if not daily at least a few days a week. I didn't always, but today it is imperative that I, you and we learn to love self more than we love on others. Listed below are several ways to love and nurture you. 

Self-love is the most important element needed to have the life you desire. Self-love is not often taught in any family as we must learn to do so throughout our life's experiences. Most people never make it to this space. Some of us live our entire lives as people pleasers and doing everything for everybody else and nothing for self. In this blog, not only will I share ten ways you can love yourself, but I will also share how these acts are beneficial for you. You will become familiar with how self-love leads to you to a happy life as well as why it is important to love every fiber of your being. It all begins with you. No-one can love you if you cannot love yourself and you cannot truly love others if you do not love self.

Ten Ways to Love on Self

1. Exercise:
Most people exercise to release weight, and that is fine. However, working out has a lot more benefits than losing weight.
One of the fascinating things about exercise is the “feel good” hormone. Why is exercise so important?

Start at your pace, but please do get started. Go walking for 30 minutes. There is an enormous amount of information on exercising listed on the website. Please do yourself a favor and exercise; make it a way of life. If you love yourself, you will find a way and not an excuse.


2. Positive Affirmations:Speak positively to self. We all know the saying; there is life and death in the tongue. So, why would you talk or think negatively of yourself? Here is a list of affirmations you can say to yourself every day. In fact, try this exercise. But first, do you remember when you were in grade school, and maybe you talked too much (like me), and your teacher told you to write 100 times "I will not disrupt the class." Did you ever have to do that? I did and on numerous occasions. At any rate, the purpose behind that is programming the subconscious mind so that you won't talk so much in class. Repetition leads to results. If you write it, you think it, if you think it, it becomes so, and you will believe it. Well, the same principle exists with affirmations. The statements listed below are some that I use daily. Select the ones that resonate with you and write them 100 times, just kidding, write them five times in the morning, in the afternoon and before bedtime. Do this for thirty days and stay focused. As you are writing, speak them aloud with a confident voice.

I deserve the very best in life.
I sow the seeds of peace wherever I go.
I surround myself with peaceful people.
I am completely pain free, and my body is full of energy.
I love and approve of myself.
I am healthy and beautiful.
I am present to the gift of now.
I act from a place of security.
I fill my mind with positive thoughts.
I feel good about being alive and being me.
If you need more, go to my favorite affirmation site. Louise Hay


3. Massage Therapy:
Everyone needs to be touched; go out and have a professional massage. Don’t worry about your body's appearance. GO GET TOUCHED. I attempt to have a massage at least once a month. I don't always make it, but the intent is present. Monthly massages make you feel good and are definitely a way to express self-love. Here are six reasons you need to be touched

4. Pedicure/Manicure:
I believe we should all receive manicures and pedicures (men & women) and not for glamor purposes but self-care purpose. Pedi’s and Mani’s have nothing to do with your sexual gender, but everything to do with self-care. Your feet and hands need love too. Many victims of abuse fall into the pattern of self-neglect or self-hatred, and we abandon or neglect self. In this, we don’t realize that something as simple as not caring for our feet, or hands can lead to medical problems.

5. Take a Nap:
Americans work, work, and work as we do not allow time for naps or sleep in general. You will be surprised how much better your every day begins to feel when you find time for a nap. I have been taking naps since I can remember and my son has adopted the same principle. Naps regenerate the whole body and make you feel good. Read this article. 5 Reasons You Should Take a Nap
 
6. Self-Date:Take yourself out on a date. Self-dates affords you the opportunity to become comfortable with self and not be so dependent on spending time with others. Spending time alone increases confidence, removes fear and helps you accept and love self. If you can’t spend time with self, then who will? Embrace the time you spend with self. This month, try one of the activities from the list below.
 


Movie/Play
Breakfast/ Dinner
Dance
Bowling
Skating
Spa Day



7. Laughter:
When dealing with stressful days, watch some comedy or cartoons. Search online for silly jokes. Have lunch or dinner with your funniest friends. Play with your kids and if you do not have any, go borrow some, just kidding, watch "laughing baby" videos on You Tube. Laugh until your stomach hurts and watch the stress disappears. 

8. Detox Bath:
My favorite way to express self-love is in the bathtub for twenty to thirty minutes. Detox baths are perfect for showing love to your inner self, and it is one of the easiest healing therapies to facilitate your body's natural detoxification system. Try this.
1/3 cup of Epsom salts
1/2 cup coarse sea salts
Two tsp ground ginger
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
Several drops of essential lavender oil 

Combine the mixture in a bowl and run your hot bath water (creates a sweat). Pour mixture into the tub and soak for 20-30 minutes. You can also have some ginger tea or warm lemon water while you soak. Read this article on Bath Detox

9. Eat Healthy:  
In the world where food is a science, and practically everything we eat is GMO, (watch the Netflix movie, GMO OMG) we have to take a closer look into exactly what we are putting into our mouths. GMO's are linked to numerous health problems, and if you want to stay healthy, I suggest you investigate where your food comes from or better yet, eat organic. If if doesn't say organic, chances are it is GMO. I grew up on blood (meat) and starch (sugar, rice, flour, etc.) and believe it or not, fats and sugars are highly addictive and dis-ease producing. Look around, so many people are obese and sick. It is the food that the FDA approves as healthy. GMO's will kill you, and real food (Fruits and vegetables) will heal you.  Today, I live a lifestyle close to vegetarian as possible. I still love my Salmon, but for the most part, all of my food is organic, plant based or raw. As the months pass us by, I will tell you why in a blog of course.  

10. Meditation:  
Meditation is concerned with caring for the mind. Although our body and mind are intimately related and interconnected, they are quite different types of phenomena. The ultimate goal of meditation is more than just ‘mindfulness’ or ‘being in the now’. Enlightenment, Self-Realization, Oneness with God, and a state of Grace, all these attempts to name or describe the goal of meditation fall far short, because the goal of meditation is to transcend the mind and experience directly the Oneness of the Universe – something beyond thought or imagination, and certainly beyond words. Personally speaking, the goal of meditation is to realize that you are God. Listen to what Jim Carey had to say about thoughts. Are you aware of your thoughts or do you simply give them more energy. In meditation, you become thoughtless for a reason. 

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this blog, please share and comment below. 
 



I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

START YOUR HEALING TODAY
Contact me for more details.
773.419.3070
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul

Monday, December 19, 2016

Recapitulation & Forgiveness

Thank you for stopping by as always, my goal is to empower and transform your life. In life, you will encounter energy snatching experiences, and within this blog, my goal is to help you reclaim your lost energy and use it for something meaningful in your life. When you think of the word recap or recapitulation, you might envision reflecting on something that happened before your current moment. And you would be correct. However, recapitulation delves a little bit deeper. Within this blog, I share with you how to use the spiritual process of recapitulation for empowering purposes and raising your vibrations. 

What is Recapitulation?
Recapitulation is a spiritual exercise through which we identify and repossess the lost parts of ourselves or the lost energy.  It is specifically going back to the experiences that were emotionally draining such as trauma, disagreements, breakups, loss, etc., and taking our power back.  

Through this process, we intentionally and consciously revisit all the experiences that our emotional energy was lost or taken away and we invite that energy back into our lives so that we can channel it towards something positive, beautiful and meaningful. In doing so, we recapture parts of ourselves for rebuilding ourselves our higher self so that we can live an authentic life filled with balance love, inner joy, and freedom. When we lose our energy to emotional disagreements, we lack the energy needed to fuel, nurture and support our higher selves. When we recapitulate that lost power, we can then use it to feed the things in our lives that are purposeful.

My Recapitulation
When I was sexually molested as a child and for many years, I felt, lost, insecure, miserable, defeated, suicidal, homicidal and more. When I was twenty-six, I revisited that experience with the intent to find something positive. It took me another two years to do so, but even then I still felt like I was missing something. When I turned thirty-eight years old, I decided to revisit that experience, release everything and take my power, and energy back and it worked. Today, I have written five books and working on my sixth, spoken at numerous organizations, and is a Life, Healing, and Transformation Coach. That same energy I lost is the same energy that has recreated my life.

When I challenged my son’s school and teacher for forcing him to stand up and recite the Pledge of Allegiance, the teacher's ignored my request for him to sit silently. The faculty and one of the dean harassed my son, and the superintendent ignored me. During that experience, my the school police officer criminalized my son right to my face. I had to get the news and the American Humanist Society involved so that my child’s teacher was held accountable. And she was. Although I got what I wanted, that entire experience left me angry and emotionally drained. After that, every time I went to my son’s school I felt angry and refused to have any dialogue with anyone that was involved. However, after recapitulation, I redirected that energy towards my purpose in life. So, now I’m in graduate school for Social Work, and upon graduation, I can assist in reforming educational laws, advocate for black boys and continue to heal the masses.

The Practice
Once you identify the experience that drained your energy, you can begin the process of recapitulation. In that, you need to create a conscious intent as without one; that same experience will drain you even more. So, what was the experience and what were my intentions when I revisited those emotional experiences?

Through positive affirmations, visualization, meditation, exercise, connecting with my higher self, and the divine, I recalled all that energy for the intention listed below.

“I forward this reclaimed energy to fuel my higher self and purpose in life.”

As I mentioned above, I am a 5x author, speaker and transformation coach, and in graduate school for social work. The experience with my son was on purpose and aligned with my sixth book. Reclaimed energy, more power, and more experience to enlighten, educate and heal the masses.

Recap Questions
At the end of each day, recap all experiences. Never allow experience or emotions to go unprocessed. Ask and answer these questions in your journal.

1. What is good about this?
2. What is this here to teach me?
3. What are the facts about this situation?
4. What am I choosing to think about this situation?
5. If this was happening "for" me, why might that be?
6. Who do I choose to be as I experience or go through this situation?
7. How can I use this situation to demonstrate my values and my character?
8. Who do I want to be as I go through this?
9. How do I want to feel and what can I do to feel this way?
10. What strengths do I have that will help me through this?

Within recapitulation, once must understand that forgiveness is aligned. The process of recapitulation is synonymous to forgiveness. Listed below are my five steps to forgiveness.

Watch the full video here. A Dissertation on Meditation

What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a conscious and deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment, negative thoughts of bitterness or revenge toward a person or group of individuals who hurt you.

Who Benefits from Forgiveness?
The individual who was hurt or emotionally drained. Most times when we are hurt, we focus on the experience and how bad it hurts. Before you can forgive anyone, you must forgive yourself for allowing the unhealthy behavior. No one does anything to us that we do not allow. Once you forgive yourself forgiving others is easy.

For- Aimed at
Give- Provide or supply with
Before you aim at giving anyone anything, be willing to give it to yourself first.  

Why is Forgiveness Important?
Forgiveness is important as it frees your mental, spiritual and emotional space. Any trauma not completely forgiven will manifest itself in your mind, body, and spirit as a whole. When this happens, it tears you apart, little by little. As you age, this trauma occupies most of your mental space, and in the event of new injury or pain, you revert to the past pain instead of looking at what happened today. What’s more, you are living in a state of mental chaos instead of freedom as your entire life has become fixated on events that happened early in life.  This type of mental state leads to anxiety attacks, panic attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and nightmares.

Steps to Forgiveness:
Be Sad/Cry:
•    In most cases when people hurt us, we suppress the pain. Instead of dealing with it or grieving, we place it deep in our hearts hoping it will go away. The problem with that is as long as the pain is present, it will surface, and new relationships will be affected. Individuals who have nothing to do with this struggle or pain will feel the wrath from it.
•    In the absence of grieving, the mind becomes filled with bitterness and negativity. You will compare every new experience with that experience instead of looking at the situation for today. A tarnished mind will always retreat to past pain.
•    Grieving does not mean going into a depression. It is to have your days of sadness. “Release It.” Don’t hold onto the pain. Every tear shed is a sign of strength and freedom to come. Have your five minutes of self-pity and keep going.

Compassion:
Compassion: The wish to see other free of suffering. Hurt people, hurt people. I know it’s difficult to have sympathy for anyone who hurts you so this is the part of forgiveness that makes it so hard to accomplish.  How many times have you hurt someone? We are all human, and we all make mistakes. Whether it was intentional or inadvertent, we all err. How did you feel after you hurt someone and he or she held a grudge against you? Deep in your heart you wanted that person to understand your pain and realize that you needed releasing as well.

Acceptance:
Accept that the past will never change. The past can only be accepted and embraced. Admit that you were deeply hurt and left with scars. It will be difficult to move forward, but you can. Acceptance does not mean what happened was okay, it means it will NOT change. You have two choices; use that knowledge to recreate your life or exist without life.

Accountability:
Be responsible for your actions and life. (Don’t blame) When an adult stays in a situation that he/she knows does not serve them a higher purpose, it is their responsibility to realize he or she was just as accountable for the experience. We have to see our flaws and where we could have done better. If you know in your heart of hearts that you could have made a better decision, then you are just as accountable as the wrongdoer. Don’t blame others when you know you could’ve done better. Blaming denies you the opportunity to learn, and that leads to repeated history. Denial leads to desolation. Reclaim your energy.

NOTE: You are not responsible for being abused as a child; however the little person inside of you needs to be forgiven as he or she wasn’t able to protect you.


Find Something Positive/ Learn From the Experience: One of the key elements of forgiveness is to learn from the pain. There is a lesson in everything we experience. It doesn’t matter how malicious or callous; there are positive lessons. To learn from pain is to gain power. To learn from harm is to gain knowledge. Find something positive from your experience. Did you learn something about yourself during this experience? Did it make you a better person? 

In essence, to reap the benefits from recapitulation, one must create an intent and then revisit the experience. If you do not create a conscious intent, you will find more emotional injury and lose more energy. The same goes with forgiveness, when you reflect back on those emotionally challenging or draining experiences, you have to be willing to find something positive so that you can use that reclaimed energy to fuel your higher self. In essence, you are releasing what no longer serves you a purpose, embracing what does and feeding your higher self. 

Thank you for reading. Please share with your family and friends so they can reclaim their energy and direct into something meaningful and purposeful. 




If you require more assistance with reclaiming your energy, please click below.

Human Services Student (Masters of Social Work - Advanced Clinical Practice)


I am not only a Certified Coach, Author, and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me, and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love, and forgiveness.