Monday, February 22, 2016

The Wounded Beautiful Man

Thank you for stopping by as always my goal is to empower and transform your life. INjoy!

Have you ever truly seen your man, I mean naked, emotionally naked? 

Have you ever seen beyond his physical being and looked into his soul? 

Has he given you the opportunity to see his fears, insecurities, pain, or the self behind the ego?

Have you ever seen the depths of your man as he reaches the depths of your body?

His pain, fears, anger, jealousy, and insecurities is really the beauty beneath his physical body. 

The beauty that calls for him to trust you and share his deepest secrets. As he cries and lays his head upon your breast and wishes for you to nurture him as he longed for it for many years from his mother. His strong arms hold you gently and tightly as he just wants to feel your warmth and security. The security that was stolen from him as a little boy and now he's a man with the same fears and insecurities. You rub his head and assure his safety, the safety of his heart that was once discarded.

He is beautiful and strong as he cries and reconnects with his little boy's pain. He is beautiful as he withdraws and emotionally clams out of fear you might not understand. 

He is a man. A man in touch with his feminine energy and not afraid to be judged or accused of being a bitch. 

He is a man. A wounded man, who never healed from the wounded boy. 

He is a man. A man who trusts you, his woman, to understand, have compassion and love him for who he is. 

He is a man. A man who once lived in fear and until he felt your love, he can now live.

He wants to heal, but he needs to know he can count on you to support him and not judge him. He opens up and shows you the beauty of a wounded man. The pain deep down in his soul that has prevented him from loving and trusting you the way you deserve. He's a wounded man, but he's a loving man. 

He loves you, but his pain is deeper than you can imagine. Hold him, love him, empower him, cry with him, and never degrade him. 

He is a man, OUR man, the man who will protect and die for you. Cherish him, encourage him and let him be.

He's wounded, but he's beautiful as he allows you to see the true depths of his soul. He removes his Ego and allows you to see his true self. The pain he suffers, the fears he face, the insecurities he lives with and the jealousy that scares you. 

Have patience with him as he is a man, a wounded man, in need of real love and compassion.

The Wounded Beautiful Man

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

Contact me for more details. 
773.419.3070 
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul 

Divine International Healing & Leadership Center

Thank you for reading. Please follow and/or subscribe. And share with those who you believe may be inspired by this message. 

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

KARMA Serves You in LOVE

Karmic Debt is at the soul level, meaning you are born with a certain amount of Karma that your previous person did not receive as he or she died before receiving it. 

What does that mean? We are NOT just five sense people (sight, taste, touch, feel, hear) NOPE, we are beyond that. We are multisensory spirits covered in skin, or in the physical realm. Before this life, you're living; your spirit was carried by someone else. (Reincarnation) This PERSONality created Karmic Debt as you had today and died before the Universe balanced the soul's energy (Meaning, passed away before Karma came back to him/her) So, now your PERSONality is born with that soul (spirit) and guess what, that is your birth Karmic Debt. Universal energy needs balancing for the purpose of healing and evolution. We are Spirits. 

LAW OF CAUSE & EFFECT: What you have done unto others in past lives or this one (cause), weaves the karmic agreement of your present and future (effect). Consciously acting from love and kindness to yourself and others instantly bring the present and future karmic contracts into greater pathways of empowerment and unfoldment. How do we create Karmic Debt and why is it important to not become upset when we experience it?

Karmic Debt comes from the Universe, and everything from the Universe is all in love. Example, I can recall cheating on my ex-boyfriend years ago. Fast forward, when I dated my son's father, he cheated on me. Was I to be upset when I committed the same act years before? No, but I was as I didn't realize I created that debt. What's more, this was a man who slept with many women so what was I to expect. I got just what I deserved, but all in love. That particular part of my person was broken and filled with lies, betrayal, and deceit. The lesson for me was to remove those behaviors from my life, and I did. Can you see how cheating and being cheated on made me better? Karma is good for the soul; it is just a matter of how the PERSON decides to view it or connect to it. Allow your heart to connect, not your person. 

We come to learn what is and is not like love. In the worlds of duality, (good & evil) we learn from “good-bad,” “problem-solution,” fear and doubts, etc. until we evolve into divine love, joy, and awareness. (ONLY ONE SOURCE) 

Karmic Debt is here to serve us a purpose as we signed up and agreed to what we have, are, and will experience. It is critical NOT to react; as with everything we feel, say, or do, we make choices. Whatever you choose to do; produce a wave that travels through time; those choices are our Karma, good or bad. Let's go a little deeper. 

Imagine the murder of a child. All those attached to that child will react in pain, anger, discord, guilt, and might even commit unhealthy acts. Let us pose this question. What if the "person" who carried the child's soul before the child "person" was born, committed murder? What if? What if the balancing the Universe's energy required the same act committed in the previous lifetime? How would you view this experience then? 

What if the "person" I was before today had sex with children and wreaked havoc on them? What if? What would that person's Karma be if they lived to feel it? What if that person died before Karma balanced their soul's energy? Who would then receive that Karma? Me. 

As a child, I was sexually molested. The Universal Law of Karma states that the same way the energy is put out into the world is the exact way it is returned. What you do to others will come back and be done to you. Karma is not just in your present life as it also applies to the lives you lived before the present one. One might find this hard to digest as we believe we are only five senses and that once we physically die, that is it. Energy is nor destroyed or created as it is only transferred. We are energy. If you understood that we are multi-sensory spirits, you would see that Karma never ends unless we accept responsibility for our thoughts, emotions, and actions and "allow it to be okay." 

LAW OF EMPOWERMENT states that if you “let whatever happens to be ok,” you are accepting the “default” pattern of karma. Empowerment comes from a conscious decision to take control of karma by taking absolute and total responsibility for your life and by always consciously acting with loving kindness.

Everything that happens in our lives is for us as nothing is by chance, and nothing is for our demise. We have to trust the process of life as everything is where it should be and all through our creations. The Universe only provides love. 

LAW OF LOVE – Karma begins and ends with love. Karma was created to propel you as a soul on a personal journey of reincarnation through the universe. Karma ends when you have perfected yourself in your ability to love unconditionally. The sole purpose of karma and reincarnation is to bring us all to a state of divine love, joy, and awareness.


EMBRACE YOUR KARMA and LIVE IN LOVE, JOY & AWARENESS 

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love compassion and forgiveness.” 


START YOUR HEALING TODAY 
Contact me for more details. 
773.419.3070 
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul

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Monday, March 23, 2015

15 Confidence Boosters

Thank you for stopping by as always, my goal is to inspire and empower you. 

There is no need to seek external empowerment as it all starts within you. You have the power via your thoughts, emotions and energy to change anything about you. 

Listed below are 15 ways I use to empower self, teens and adults. Incorporate these into your life and let me know if you feel differently and good about self.

Confidence: Belief or trust in self, someone or something
Esteem: Respect & admiration for self or someone
  • Write Down 10 Positive & 10 Negative Things About Self: The goal in this is to examine what it is about you that you would like to change. You cannot conquer what you refuse to face. Of course the positive things will make you feel good about you, but identifying the negative will help you feel even better as now you can focus on improving self.  
  • Set Small Goals & Meet Them: Goals such as cleaning your closet out, reorganizing your bedroom, or reading a book; small or short term goals that you know you can reach. Don't create hard goals until you're able to accomplish smaller goals, as if you do not reach those harder or bigger goals, you will feel bad about and not trust self.
  • Groom Self/ Dress Nicely: When you look good, you feel good. Take care of self; don't go outside looking shabby with uncombed hair. Your appearance is everything and when you don't provide self-care, you're doing self a disservice. Make an effort to look good before leaving your house; have dress up days and take pics. All of this will boost your confidence.
  • Take Selfies: Take lots of selfies and enjoy the view. No, this is not arrogance or vanity. If you can't enjoy and feel good about looking at self, who will? Trust that the reflections looks good and don't allow anyone to tell you differently. Look at self and appreciate your beauty, flaws and all. 
  • Think Positive Thoughts: Positive thoughts create positive energy. As thoughts become things, be intentional about your thoughts and emotions. If you want abundance and success, think it, believe it, and you will receive it. We are creators and if you look at your life, it is your thoughts that got you there. What do you want in your life? -- Whatever that might be, only focus on what you want. Don't give any energy to that which you do not want. Think positive ONLY.
  • Remove Negative Thoughts: We get about 60, to 70,000 thoughts a day and 95% of them are negative. Don't ignore the thought; counteract it with a positive thought. If your mind tells you, "I am fat or ugly," You simply say, "I am beautiful and my body is sexy." When you allow negative thoughts to dominate your mind, that energy becomes an emotion (E-energy in motion) and you then create a negative atmosphere that will present a negative thing. Change your thoughts; change your life. Tell the thought to "GO SIT DOWN." Also, if someone says something negative about you, don't internalize it, don't own it; don't digest someones "thoughts" or opinions of you. It is theirs, not yours. 
  • Speak and Behave Positively: When you speak and behave negatively, you are putting negative energy in the Universe. That negative energy is going to come right back to you. Go out and do a random act of kindness, compliment people, speak only good things as good will come back to you. When you make others feel good, you feel good in return and you learn to believe in you. 
  • Sit with Self: Learn to appreciate being alone and stop feeling like you need to be around people or the external world. Date self, take self shopping, go see a movie or skating; get to know self by sitting with self. If you can't appreciate self, who will? Listen to those thoughts and determine if any speak truth, and if they do, journal it. See what you can do to change self as the external world cannot do that. Get to know you.
  • Think and Speak Slowly: Have you ever tripped over your own words? I have. Think about what you want to say and say it slowly. That way you develop communication skills and trust me, people are grateful for those who communicate effectively. No reason to hurry; speak clear and slowly and you will be surprised at the responses. People respond positively to that which they understand. What this means is, you will have listeners and what better way to trust and make self good. 
  • Never Compare Self to Others: Comparing self to others is a definite blow to your confidence as well as your esteem. Compare self to self as you are the standard for you. Stop seeking external approval. Comparing self to others mean you do not value or trust self. The way to compare is to have "Internal Competition;" be better than you were yesterday as there should be no one in your mind who you feel is better than you. You are the most important person in your life. Compare self to yesterday's self. 
  • Focus on Solutions, not Problems: When there are problems, the only thing to do is find a solution. Problems, challenges or obstacles are here to serve and build us. However, when you focus on the "problem" you give too much energy to it and attract more negative energy to self, and this makes you feel horrible and not trust self. Focus on the solution. If you have a problem with a friend or anyone, be the first to ask, "How can we solve this?" Thereafter begin to offer solutions and work through them. This type of energy will certainly enhance your confidence and make you feel like gold. (Problem Solver)
  • Exercise: Exercising at least 30 minutes a day releases a hormone called "Endorphins" or the "Feel Good" Hormone. Get out and walk or jog as not only will you feel good, but you can definitely lose weight. Exercising is a great way to increase confidence and esteem. When you look good, you feel good. Challenge yourself; walk or jog for 30 minutes on one day and the following week, go for 45 minutes. This is a great was to build self-confidence. You CAN do it. 
  • Learn Something New Daily: Read a book, or do some research on something you've always wanted to learn about. When you increase your knowledge, you increase your confidence as being smart is always a confidence booster. Once a week, seek knowledge and enhance upon you. The more research you do, the better you feel about your abilities to find new information and learn it. 
  • Remove Perfection from Your Life: We are perfect in our right as humans; however there is no such thing as perfection. Don't focus on scoring perfect scores or having the best body or wearing a size two. That does not insinuate perfection. Don't spend too much time on trying to make anything perfect in your life as it will not happen. Perfection is for those who lack confidence and it will not build your confidence as it does not exist. If you have a pimple, embrace it; if you have a flat butt, embrace it; embrace you; flaws and all. Love self as you are beautiful and smart just the way you are.
  • Do your Best & Feel Good Regardless of the Outcome: As long as you do your best, that is all that matters. Results are for those who are fixated on perfection. Focus on getting it done with your best foot forward. As long as you know you did your best, nothing else matters. Always trust that what you have done was the best you could do. 
If you require more assistance in boosting your confidence please send a request to info@kelleyporter.com and in the subject line, enter "CONFIDENCE."

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 
“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”
Contact me for more details.
773.419.3070 
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul

Subscribe to my You Tube Channel
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Thank you for reading and please leave your comments below. 

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Self Reflection & Correction


Thank you for stopping by as always, my goal is to empower and transform your life. 

Throughout all my childhood abuse, the toxic relationships with my family, the abusive and/or bad relationships with men, I found my calling and passion. God blessed me with a life full of experiences that many are suffering from today. He not only blessed me, he healed and restored me. I am grateful to God and love Him so. I am nothing without God and I know that if you believe and trust in Him, He will do the same for you. I am a blessed and no longer a wounded woman seeking love, lacking esteem and respect. I am loved by God and myself. 

Abuse tends to have an everlasting effect on victims and survivors, however once you become an adult; it is time to "do" the work. The work is self-reflection. You have to look back and deeply within and be totally honest with yourself about how the childhood abuse affected you. You may be a survivor, but is your heart ready and willing to receive and give love.

In order to stand in your truth and live an authentic life, you have to accept your ugly truth. If you are attracted to chaos and negativity, you have to accept it. If you don’t know what love was, accept it. If you think being slapped in the face or beaten is normal, accept it. If you lack self-esteem and self-love, admit it. If you are insecure, accept it. If you are desperate for a man, accept it. If you are afraid to be alone, accept it. You have to accept these patterns and behaviors because the only way to change is to make yourself aware of the problem. What's more, you have to be accountable for your actions.

As adults we make bad decisions and then we blame others. The moment you blame another for wreaking havoc on you, you deny yourself the opportunity to learn and grow. You have to be accountable for allowing someone to mistreat you. If you are in a domestic violent relationship or just a bad relationship and you have a way out, yet you choose to stay; be accountable. That’s not to say you deserve to be mistreated or abused, but it’s simply to say that you could have made a better decision. We all have choices and when you choose to see your faults, it is then that you will begin to grow. Self-reflection leads to self-correction, but the only way corrections can be made is if you stand in your truth and do the work.



Many of you think you can change a man or woman as I did. Wrong. The only person you need to focus on is yourself. When you begin to focus on changing others you lose your sense of self and with that, it’s impossible to see the patterns and behaviors that live within you. Change can only occur when we accept the fact that there is a problem. How you see and handle any relationship will either stunt or improve your growth. Until you are ready to self-reflect and embrace your ugly truth, I highly suggest the only person you date is yourself. Take some time to date and learn self or you will attract another bad relationship. You are what you attract. Dig deep and see exactly what you can do to make yourself better. Otherwise you will take the same person to the next relationship and you will have no one to blame, but yourself. You are not responsible for other’s action, but you are responsible for yours. Don’t worry about what the last man or woman did, worry about what you did or didn't do. People are who they were before you even crossed their paths. Therefore, their actions and behaviors have nothing to do with you and vice/verse.

Don’t walk away angry. When you walk away angry, you take that same anger to the next relationship and wreak havoc on someone who has nothing to do with your last man or woman. Anger will also block your blessings as an angry heart is incapable of seeing, embracing or accepting a blessing; such as a good man or woman. What’s more, an angry person lacks faith and love. How can you give someone your whole heart when you are angry? Walk away in peace and just know that God has something better for you. Wouldn't you rather walk away and suffer for five or ten months than to live the next five or ten years in pain with someone? That’s a question.

Being insecure is a sure way to run a man or woman away. Insecurities are unfortunate self-doubts either originating from growing up in a dysfunctional household or being betrayed and deceived as an adult. The unfortunate part is the behaviors that surface from these insecurities are projected onto an innocent individual and causes unnecessary pain. More than often these behaviors have nothing to do with the other person, but most will try to blame the other person. If you are questioning everything your man or woman does and they haven’t given you reason, you are insecure and needs to do a self-check.

Lacking self-love is a sure way to end up in a bad or abusive relationship. Why? Because you are confused about what love is and will accept anything. When you truly love yourself, you will not put yourself in harm’s way or allow anyone to mistreat you. Mistakes happen in relationships and sometimes you will get hurt, but you have to know the difference between love and abuse. In the end you have to make a conscious decision to move forward after being knocked down. It won’t happen overnight and it will not be easy. But, you can do it. Don’t look at how hard it is, look forward to meeting the person you will become. Move on with your life and work towards creating a new you. Remove the fear and break out into the person you were meant to be. God knows your beginning and end so now it is for you to self-reflect and discover the real you. 


I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

START YOUR HEALING TODAY
Contact me for more details.
773.419.3070
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul
Subscribe to my You Tube Channel
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Thank you for reading and please leave your comments below.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Survivors of Abuse & Attention Seeking

Many times when adults "survive" abuse, and without therapy or intervention, he/she doesn't realize the patterns and behaviors they develop and grow with.

Subconsciously we seek love and attention in all the wrong directions and with all the wrong behaviors. I know for me after being sexually abused and abandoned by my mother, I felt worthless, unloved, lost and betrayed. I wanted someone to love me, show me some attention or make me feel wanted. I had no idea of the behaviors I 
developed. 


One of the behaviors I developed was seeking attention and in a way that was unstable. I dressed very distasteful and non lady like. I wore clothing that partially exposed my ass or my nipples would be seen through a sheer bra and shirt. 


I can say honestly say this was a case of desperation and low self esteem. I was seeking what I was taught and what I lacked; sex and love as well as approval. This behavior is somewhat overlooked because women and men like to look good and with that we connect looking good with fitted or revealing clothing. It's unfortunate some don't realize when dressing sexy or looking good, dressing revealing or provocative has nothing to do with being sexy. It brings brings unwanted attention and disrespect, bad perception, judgement and potential violation. This is not to say in any way, shape, fashion or form that the way one dresses warrants being violated and please DO NOT misunderstand me.

I am simply stating that there is a possibility that you may be seeking attention and using your body as bait. This also applies to men. We see men in fitted shirts all the time and SOME use their bodies to bait women in, therefore seeking attention.


My question would be, why? Why does one feel the need to use their body to gain the attention of anyone. Is your body all your worth? Are the clothing you wear your worth? Have you been reduced to a body, flesh, skin, sex or are you a precious being with lots to offer a man or a woman? 

You have reduced yourself to skin and sex. This is what happens after abuse, this is all you know; sex, sex and more sex. You have been reduced to feeling worthless and unloved; this is also what happens after abuse. Make the connection. Your value and worth was diminished the moment your innocence was stolen. Your truth and normal way of life was stolen. Your sense of reality, trust and faith were demolished before being developed. 

However, seeking attention will not bring reality, trust, love or faith in your life no more than the abuse did.


So the solution to this challenge is to make the CONNECTION. Here are some of the steps in making the connection. 
  • Seek Help- God, therapy, coaching, meditation, prayer. Your life will change for the better. 
  • Break The Silence- Silence equals suffering; start talking, journal or simply GET IT OUT.
  • Self Reflection- Doing time in the mirror and see the abnormalities or instabilities about self. 
  • Acceptance- Accept the abnormalities as challenges that desire a solution. Don't beat yourself up and don't be mad at yourself. 
  • Change- Change the way you dress.
Once we realize where these behaviors originate, it is then that we can overcome the challenges. I really don't believe you actually like being disrespected based on the way you dress nor do I believe you like exposing your beautiful treasures. Yes, we take great pride in our lovely physiques and we sometimes flaunt it, however make certain that when you decide to wear revealing or tight clothing, you are aware of the bad attention that might approach you and be prepared.  

In essence, being abused as a child can be devastating to the psyche and with that we have to redefine ourselves as adults. If that means changing the way you dress, then do so, if that means changing your hair, then do so, whatever changes need to be made, I would encourage you to do so. This not only redefines who are, it also removes you from the victim and to the victor. 

Remember  
Men you are worth more than your pecs and penis. 
Ladies you are worth more than your titties and a**.

If you require additional information, products, services or coaching, please visit, my website. 

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

START YOUR HEALING TODAY
773.419.3070 Contact me for more details.


Healing the Mind, Body & Soul


Thank you reading; please subscribe and/or follow. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Living on Purpose

As a child, I wanted to work to become a Surgeon. I remember watching medical shows on Channel 11 when I was young. I was very intrigued with some of the things I saw. My father always told me to become an RN. I knew I wanted to help others; I just wasn't sure how I would satisfy that passion to help. I joined the Health Care Industry at twenty years old and began as a Medical Assistant/Phlebotomist and patient care was very satisfying. I was very good at making others feel better. It was natural for me to connect with patients/ people etc. I still didn't have the courage to attend school for RN, so, during my time as a Phlebotomist I stumbled across a job through a co-worker called Medical Technologist (MT). I finished school and today it has been thirteen years since I worked as a Medical Technologist, giving me a total of twenty one years in health care.
The Health Care industry was very rewarding to me, however, I still felt like I was missing something so I decided to enroll in school for RN even after I received my B.S in Health Information Management. To make a long story short, I was no longer my priority as my son, Shemar was and I didn't want to sacrifice him any longer so I decided to leave school and focus on raising him.


As a Medical Technologist (MT), some of my day-to-day duties included complex analysis of microscopic, immunologic, biologic, bacteriologic, hematologic, chemical tests and their results. Some of my tasks might include:

  • Preparing cultures of tissue samples
  • Establishing and monitoring programs that ensure data accuracy
  • Microscopically examining slides of bodily fluids
  • Cross-matching blood for transfusions
  • Chemically analyzing blood or urine for toxic components
  • Analyzing lab reports for accuracy
  • Operating and calibrating equipment
  • Delivering test results to physicians, researchers or patients
  • Collecting and studying blood samples to determine morphology 
To summarize this, I analyzed body fluids to help physicians in diagnosing and treating patients. Pretty complex, paid well and always something new to learn, but, not what my heart desired. However, as a Medical Technologist I saved lives. In essence, "helping" was always my passion. 


Up until 4 years ago and in 2008, I lived with some sense of emptiness about fulfilling my destiny. I knew there was something else I should have been doing. My friend, Jerrie Mason introduced me to public speaking and afterwards, I realized I had a natural talent for it and connecting with others. There was no fear, no stage fright, just pure confidence and gratification. What's more, I didn't receive any monetary compensation and was still satisfied. In 2009, I wrote Perfectly Planned and released in 2010. My first book led me to public speaking and sharing my story. My pain of being sexually molested and experiencing all forms of abuse as a child drove me to the desire of wanting to help others. I wrote my second book two years later, Overcoming Toxic Relationships and still desired to help in a more direct way. I realized I was on the right path to my purpose in life so I decided to walk away from health care after twenty three years of service and become a Certified Transformation Coach. What's more, I have written a total of four books and two more will be released Spring, early Summer of 2015. Today, I live on purpose. I turned my pain into passion and found my purpose in life.  

I can now help, change and save lives on a greater scale. In essence, it adds up to me creating programs, sharing my experience, knowledge and/or life's lessons with others to build, encourage, inspire, and empower. I am living on purpose, or often referred to as having 'found one's calling'. How do I know this is my calling? Not only do I have passion or fire to do it, I cannot walk away from it. My reward is that someone’s life is enriched by me speaking, writing or coaching them. No amount of money can compare to that emptiness in my heart that has finally been fulfilled. The gratification I receive from empowering others is what makes me who I am. I live to enrich others. I live to empower and inspire. I live to positively change lives. This is what God has given me; this is my gift, my calling, and my purpose.  

Some may not accept, believe or even be interested in hearing me speak, coaching them or reading any of my books and that's okay. This is what the Lord designed for me and I will do it with passion. 

Many of us are nowhere near living on purpose. We are simply doing what we stumbled across, or doing what pays well, or just doing what our parents told us we should do. It becomes habitual or comfortable living in the place we are in. I believe if Jerrie Mason had not invited me out seven years ago, I may not have found my purpose as soon as I did. Who knows; maybe or maybe not, at any rate, I found what many people never find; my purpose. We all have a purpose in life just as the bees, trees and flowers and that is our PREdestined gift that God blessed us with. I wanted to become a surgeon and I am. The difference is instead of healing through medicine, I heal the physical, spiritual, emotional and mental body through God and my life.

There are several signs to know if you are Living On Purpose.

1.     Do it for free
2.     You eat, sleep and drink it
3.     You have a complete sense of satisfaction 
4.     If you are paid, the amount doesn't matter
5.     There is nothing more you would rather do
6.     You enjoy doing it everyday
7.     Walk away from your punch-clock job/career

If you are experiencing the signs above, then you are living on purpose. There are more signs, however, I chose to list those. The most important is number one. If you are not experiencing any of the signs above, I suggest you listen to that inner voice, have faith and get started. Live out the purpose that God set for you; find yourself. This is all a part of your destiny. Many of us are not financially rich, but we are all meant to be spiritually rich. 

Needless to say, there are many famous, wealthy, rich people or otherwise in the world who are not fulfilled; why? Because fulfillment has nothing to do with money and everything to do with finding your true self; reaching your God-given purpose and allowing your passion to drive you. Today is your day, discover your purpose and live in it.

If you require additional information, services or products, please visit my website


I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”
START YOUR HEALING TODAY
Contact me for more details. 
773.419.3070 
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Sunday, April 15, 2012

Menage a Trois & Relationships

Have you ever experienced one? I have? Years ago and is not interested in engaging in that sexual activity again. Thank God, neither is my current man. At any rate, one who is on a relationship with should never entertain bringing another partner home to indulge in your partner. I know there are swingers out here who wold disagree but we all have our opinion so allow me to state mine.

I can understand if one doesn't love their other half or is not in a committed relationship, then sure that is totally up to you. However, if feelings are involved you are simply setting yourself up for emotional failure. There are several reasons why this type of behavior will lead to a disastrous relationship ending in failure. Before I go into a few of the reasons, I will discuss my Menage a Trois.

Seeing as though I was forced to be with girls at 8, eventually I started to seek out those pleasures on my own. As an adult I actually initiated the act with my boyfriend at the time. Was I in for a world of trouble, honestly it wasn't too bad, but the act of watching your man, enjoy or get off on another woman is not pleasing at all. It almost ripped a whole through my heart. The cool part about it was, he was so excited he couldn't remain erected. Also, on the flip slip, he was upset about me enjoying her too much. I guess we both enjoyed the fifteen minutes, however, we were both bothered by it and he became upset and left. At any rate, we may have enjoyed it, but it didn't turn out right. I began to cheat on him with this woman and of course he was cheating prior to, during and after this night. That relationship went no where, and thank God it didn't. We dated 7 years afterward but never did that again.

My point for sharing my story is, I have been there and speaking for many, it causes many problems and doesn't end right. That's not to say all relationships will begin to fail or fail, but if you decide to go this route, please be prepared if it doesn't work out and if it does, kudos to you and yours.

Just a few of the reasons to stay away from Menage a Trois.
  • Cheating is Approved- If he/she will engage in sexual activities in your presence, then you better believe he/she will engage behind your back. He/She is basically cheating with your approval. Also, men do not think, that if you allow her to have sex with another woman in your presence, believe me, she's going to do it when you are not around. It's not too likely that a Man will allow his woman to have him and another man, but if this is the case, then know it's happening behind your back. I mean, in the end you are approving this behavior.
  • Secret Affair-What happens if your man/woman feels that the other individual is better than you are. You have just opened a can of worms. For men, if the other woman allows it, he and her will possibly begin a secret affair behind your back. More than likely if the other woman approved of sleeping with your man, with you, she will more than likely sleep with him without you. Don't be fooled by that, she's my friend, and she wouldn't go behind my back. You will be surprised what some good D or Va j j, will do to a person. Seriously. 
  • Develop Insecurities- Prior to your party, were you questioning his/her every move? Were you screening phone calls? Were you asking him/her did you enjoy them more. Well then, if you were not, you have just caused yourself some insecurities about your man/woman. Guess what, you have no one to be upset at but yourself. I know you were just trying something out, but this is truly not the game to play. If you can't stand the heat, then you know what's next, get out the kitchen.
  • Partner Might Just Leave You For Her, Vice/Versa- Yes this has happened, you bring another individual in your bedroom and months later, you have been left, for that person. Yes, this happens too often and I'm familiar with stories as such. But here is the thing. Be glad the relationship ended, because guess what, it wasn't going anywhere anyway. I can't imagine there being real love behind this type of relationship.
  • Loss of Trust- This goes hand-in hand with insecurities. You no longer believe he/she is faithful. Common statements are, "If you did it with me, how do I know you won't cheat." "You want her now." Hmmm, You are probably right. It becomes difficult to trust your partner after this. Not for all, but for many, your mind starts to wonder. Once you lose trust, the relationship ends, originating from a Menage a Trois.
In essence, it's your decision to engage in a 3-some, just don't be mad when all hell breaks loose. In situations as such, there should be an enormous amount of conversation; honest feelings should be expressed and if you do not want to engage, then don't. Also, never do it because your partner wants to. You will automatically be hurt since you were never in agreement.

Today, I personally do not agree with Menage a Trois and if my man were to ask me to engage then I would question his loyalty to me. When two people really love each other, inviting another man/woman in your bedroom is off limits. Pretending that you can deal with the emotional aftermath is unreal. No-one really wants to see the one they love intertwining with another individual, so don't pretend. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself a few questions; such as:
  • How am I going to feel afterward?
  • Will I trust him/her afterward?
  • Can I actually watch my man/woman engaging in sexual activities with someone else?
  • What if he/she enjoys it too much?
  • Will this affect our relationship?
  • How will this affect our relationship?
Those are simple questions to ask and again, be honest. In the end your honesty and ability to say no, or refrain from this activity may just save you some mental anguish. If he/she really loves you, they will not want you to be subjected to this behavior and they really wouldn't want to be with someone else.  So if you have a good man/woman, don't invite this world into your relationship. Don't be willing to share your man/woman, otherwise, we know what the result can be,  he/she would be more than willing to share with others.

If you require additional information, products or coaching services, please visit my website.

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

Contact me for more details. 
773.419.3070
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul
Subscribe to my You Tube Channel
Follow me on Twitter
Like My FB Page
Follow me on Instagram
Thank you for reading, please comment and/or follow.