I'm sure you have all heard the saying, "Hurt people, hurt people." In fact, you have probably experienced pain from someone who was hurting as you have probably projected your pain onto others. We are all guilty of it, and so am I. There's a reason behind this energy, and that is the power of suffering. Have you ever met someone who wreaked havoc on you for absolutely no reason? I have, and although we attract that which is in us, there is still no reason for people to cause pain to others, other than the fact that they are hurting and showing up to teach you a lesson about you. Here is an example.
If you are suffering from past pain, like losing a parent or a job, abuse, domestic violence, etc. and has had no intervention, here are the emotions left within your subconscious mind: Fear, anger, abandonment issues, attachment issues, defensive, emotionally withdrawn, insecurities, worthlessness and more. Those emotions or energy in motion are unhealthy and when we initiate new relationships, what we give is what we have. If you are harboring the sick energy as listed above, all you have to give is bad energy. On occasion, a person who is suffering will express love, kindness, compassion and understanding as we are all comprised of ALL emotions, however, if the unhealthy energy is dominant then that power will show itself more. For instance, the cell is a dominant gene as in black or brown people. When a black person procreates with a white person, you can immediately tell that the child has "black" in him or her. You can also see the genes of the white parent expressed. However, the child will no longer look white, but black or mixed. You can see the Black, but you're not sure about the nationality of the other parent unless the blue or green eyes or straight hair expresses itself; the black gene or melanin is dominant. That is the same thing with energy and emotions; if you have suffered for many years and without intervention, the unhealthy energy is dominant, but the strong emotions will express themselves.
My point of this blog is to ensure you that there are those who cause pain on purpose and there are those who cause pain out of fear. Either way, fear, and suffering lies behind both. I will ask you kindly to have some compassion as they are suffering more than you, and especially if the person hurting you is willing to get help. If not, don't attempt to change them, change your situation and leave. What I'd also like to suggest is for you to see the pain as power and information needed to elevate you. How does this show-up? I had an argument with a niece as she made a comparison regarding us three sisters and her cousins. Now, my sisters and I were raised by two very sick individuals and therefore there is no comparison between my sister and my nieces. I became very upset and removed myself from the dialogue, but my niece continued to push after I kindly asked her to end the conversation. She kept pushing, and I asked her to leave my house. I was very hurt and upset. Why? Because one of my sisters is deceased, another one, I barely have a relationship with and the other, well, we are very close. Might I add, she did not grow up within our family as she was adopted. So I felt two things, she can't speak of relationships that which she has no idea about as I love my sisters and will not allow anyone to speak ill of them.
So, where did my pain and anger originate? My sister, her mother, is deceased and was molested by our father and her life ended that day. She went on to prostitute, use drugs, and ultimately developed Lupus, End Stage Renal Disease, a Blood Clot in her lungs and died. Well, that particular sister was dear to me as we spent lots of time together. Her physical presence transitioned two years ago, and it still hurts. I miss her. So to hear anyone speak in a negative manner will set me off. The energy in me is sadness and pain for not being able to see my sister anymore. And that same energy became anger, and I expressed it onto my niece as she refused to stop the comparison when I asked.
Why is this important, when you can see where your pain originates, you can go back and nurture that person. You also have the ability to see others suffering and therefore have compassion. No one is hurting us "just because" but because they are suffering and we need to see something about us that lies beneath our skin.
Lastly, when you witness a person expressing anger, STOP, as behind anger lies pain. What's more, don't attempt to force anyone to have a dialogue about a topic they choose not to. Otherwise, you will feel the wrath and create more pain in each others lives.
In essence, have compassion for those who are suffering and have compassion for yourself. Be able to look at self and see the pain that originates behind your anger. It's all worth the work as in the end you will become a better person.
I hope you enjoyed this blog as if you did; please share. Thank you for reading and please comment below.
I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities.
“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”
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