There is no need to seek external empowerment as it all starts within you. You have the power via your thoughts, emotions and energy to change anything about you.
Listed below are 15 ways I use to empower self, teens and adults. Incorporate these into your life and let me know if you feel differently and good about self.
Confidence: Belief or trust in self, someone or something
Esteem: Respect & admiration for self or someone
- Write Down 10 Positive & 10 Negative Things About Self: The goal in this is to examine what it is about you that you would like to change. You cannot conquer what you refuse to face. Of course the positive things will make you feel good about you, but identifying the negative will help you feel even better as now you can focus on improving self.
- Set Small Goals & Meet Them: Goals such as cleaning your closet out, reorganizing your bedroom, or reading a book; small or short term goals that you know you can reach. Don't create hard goals until you're able to accomplish smaller goals, as if you do not reach those harder or bigger goals, you will feel bad about and not trust self.
- Groom Self/ Dress Nicely: When you look good, you feel good. Take care of self; don't go outside looking shabby with uncombed hair. Your appearance is everything and when you don't provide self-care, you're doing self a disservice. Make an effort to look good before leaving your house; have dress up days and take pics. All of this will boost your confidence.
- Take Selfies: Take lots of selfies and enjoy the view. No, this is not arrogance or vanity. If you can't enjoy and feel good about looking at self, who will? Trust that the reflections looks good and don't allow anyone to tell you differently. Look at self and appreciate your beauty, flaws and all.
- Think Positive Thoughts: Positive thoughts create positive energy. As thoughts become things, be intentional about your thoughts and emotions. If you want abundance and success, think it, believe it, and you will receive it. We are creators and if you look at your life, it is your thoughts that got you there. What do you want in your life? -- Whatever that might be, only focus on what you want. Don't give any energy to that which you do not want. Think positive ONLY.
- Remove Negative Thoughts: We get about 60, to 70,000 thoughts a day and 95% of them are negative. Don't ignore the thought; counteract it with a positive thought. If your mind tells you, "I am fat or ugly," You simply say, "I am beautiful and my body is sexy." When you allow negative thoughts to dominate your mind, that energy becomes an emotion (E-energy in motion) and you then create a negative atmosphere that will present a negative thing. Change your thoughts; change your life. Tell the thought to "GO SIT DOWN." Also, if someone says something negative about you, don't internalize it, don't own it; don't digest someones "thoughts" or opinions of you. It is theirs, not yours.
- Speak and Behave Positively: When you speak and behave negatively, you are putting negative energy in the Universe. That negative energy is going to come right back to you. Go out and do a random act of kindness, compliment people, speak only good things as good will come back to you. When you make others feel good, you feel good in return and you learn to believe in you.
- Sit with Self: Learn to appreciate being alone and stop feeling like you need to be around people or the external world. Date self, take self shopping, go see a movie or skating; get to know self by sitting with self. If you can't appreciate self, who will? Listen to those thoughts and determine if any speak truth, and if they do, journal it. See what you can do to change self as the external world cannot do that. Get to know you.
- Think and Speak Slowly: Have you ever tripped over your own words? I have. Think about what you want to say and say it slowly. That way you develop communication skills and trust me, people are grateful for those who communicate effectively. No reason to hurry; speak clear and slowly and you will be surprised at the responses. People respond positively to that which they understand. What this means is, you will have listeners and what better way to trust and make self good.
- Never Compare Self to Others: Comparing self to others is a definite blow to your confidence as well as your esteem. Compare self to self as you are the standard for you. Stop seeking external approval. Comparing self to others mean you do not value or trust self. The way to compare is to have "Internal Competition;" be better than you were yesterday as there should be no one in your mind who you feel is better than you. You are the most important person in your life. Compare self to yesterday's self.
- Focus on Solutions, not Problems: When there are problems, the only thing to do is find a solution. Problems, challenges or obstacles are here to serve and build us. However, when you focus on the "problem" you give too much energy to it and attract more negative energy to self, and this makes you feel horrible and not trust self. Focus on the solution. If you have a problem with a friend or anyone, be the first to ask, "How can we solve this?" Thereafter begin to offer solutions and work through them. This type of energy will certainly enhance your confidence and make you feel like gold. (Problem Solver)
- Exercise: Exercising at least 30 minutes a day releases a hormone called "Endorphins" or the "Feel Good" Hormone. Get out and walk or jog as not only will you feel good, but you can definitely lose weight. Exercising is a great way to increase confidence and esteem. When you look good, you feel good. Challenge yourself; walk or jog for 30 minutes on one day and the following week, go for 45 minutes. This is a great was to build self-confidence. You CAN do it.
- Learn Something New Daily: Read a book, or do some research on something you've always wanted to learn about. When you increase your knowledge, you increase your confidence as being smart is always a confidence booster. Once a week, seek knowledge and enhance upon you. The more research you do, the better you feel about your abilities to find new information and learn it.
- Remove Perfection from Your Life: We are perfect in our right as humans; however there is no such thing as perfection. Don't focus on scoring perfect scores or having the best body or wearing a size two. That does not insinuate perfection. Don't spend too much time on trying to make anything perfect in your life as it will not happen. Perfection is for those who lack confidence and it will not build your confidence as it does not exist. If you have a pimple, embrace it; if you have a flat butt, embrace it; embrace you; flaws and all. Love self as you are beautiful and smart just the way you are.
- Do your Best & Feel Good Regardless of the Outcome: As long as you do your best, that is all that matters. Results are for those who are fixated on perfection. Focus on getting it done with your best foot forward. As long as you know you did your best, nothing else matters. Always trust that what you have done was the best you could do.
If you require more assistance in boosting your confidence please send a request to firstname.lastname@example.org and in the subject line, enter "CONFIDENCE."
I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities.
“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”
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