Thursday, May 15, 2014

The Murder of my Nephew

We have got to do better as parents and guardians. My nephew Jajuan Porter was fatally shot May 6th on 79th & Vincennes. What was so violent was the amount of times he was shot, 12-22 bullets in an 18 yr old boy. Although Jajuan was not my son, he was my blood, my nephew, and I loved him. I am 100% certain NO parent wants to experience this type of pain. I can't imagine how I would feel if my son's like was taken from me.

In 3 months my son will be a teenager and Lord knows I fear for his life. I pray everyday he steps outside of our home and into these streets to attend school, a basketball game, his father's house or anytime he is not in my eyesight. PLEASE love, support, discipline, and guide your children, As long as they are under your roof there should be rules to follow and if not, you need to CHECK yourself as a mother. If your child, teen, and especially your son doesn't have productive plans to go outside, I would strongly suggest you keep them in the house. All that hanging out on the corners, in front of stores or with friends you know nothing about NEEDS TO BE STOPPED. If you have to kick their little asses, then do so. They ain't running NOTHING. You can't watch your teens all day, but you can enlist friends and family to help you. Especially for the single moms, I don't care how mischievous or disrespectful your child becomes, DON'T EVER give up on them. THEY NEED YOU. STOP putting your lives and your selfish needs in front of your children. You gave up your life when you became a parent, now act like one.

WHAT HAPPENED? Why are you not in the homes? Why are you not in your children's lives'? Why? Do you see what life has to offer a black child? Nothing. Boys & girls need their fathers and whatever problems you have, I encourage you to separate yourself, and make the decision to be the father you are supposed to be. When you walk away from your child, you take their confidence, esteem, identity, and your love from them. Stop being so damn selfish out here looking for women and be responsible. I don't care if you think you CAN'T do it. Maybe because you didn't have your father you believe you're worthless. NOT TRUE. YOU CAN DO IT. YES YOU CAN. You will be surprised what you can offer your child just by spending quality time, hugging them, talking to them, encouraging them and loving them. Money isn't needed for what I have listed; just YOUR PRESENCE. AND STOP dropping them off at your mother's house when you're supposed to be spending time with your child, NOT THE STREETS or a WOMAN. BE A FATHER.

Please believe we as parents have been in your shoes. We did not come out of the womb at 30 or 40 years old. We were YOU before we became parents. We love you and only want the best for you. You teenagers are too damn impulsive. So here is a clue, if you have a thought in your mind to hang in a certain neighborhood, carry a gun, beat some other teen, smoke marijuana, drink, or do anything that warrants a horrible consequence, THINK ABOUT IT FIRST. Being tough has nothing to do with manhood, but has everything to do with losing your lives. Maybe you don't have the best mother, or maybe your father is absent, but you don't have to give up on you. Be better than your parents. If you have a sorry ass parent who beats you, doesn't provide for you, uses drugs, an alcoholic or any other behavior the defines a sorry ass parent, PROVE THEM WRONG. But, if you have a parent that works hard everyday, feeds you, provides clothing, and shelter, loves you, and shows it, MAKE THEM PROUD. Stop being followers. Your teenage friends don't know their asses from a hole in the ground. Stop following your friends. If your friend causes trouble to others, uses drugs, marijuana, drives drunk, doesn't attend school, that is NOT A FRIEND you want to hang with or be like. Stop being so damn hard headed and listen to those who love you like your mother, aunt, uncle, cousin, father, grandmother, grandfather, etc.

4/12/96 - 5/6/14

If you have a teenager who has become attratcted to the streets and needs to be empowered, please visit my website and register for my Youth Building Program.

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”
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