Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Relationships and Being Taken for Granted

Taking someone for granted is an act committed by all individuals at some point in their lives. What's more, the role will reverse, and we will do the same. It's human nature, but not kind at all.

When God blesses you with something or someone who inspires you to do and be better, one who sacrifices themselves to make sure you are okay, one who has your best interest at heart, never take that person for granted, Never assume that that person will always have your back. As quickly as God blesses you with one of his Angels, he can change that person's heart and remove them from you. Don't become so comfortable because you know that person is there for you; it will backfire. 

Even if you never have to ask for help, even if that person looks forward to helping you, even if that person foresees an issue and jumps in and helps; never, never assume that he/ she will always come to your rescue. Sure it's nice to know that you have been excellent to a person, but being taken for granted is unacceptable. Be grateful for more great things will come your way. 

When someone helps you, it is because he or she doesn't want to see you hurting or in a bind. This person cares for or loves you. When you love someone, sacrificing yourself goes along with the territory. However, gratitude and appreciation need to be not only expressed but shown. The last thing anyone needs is to feel is unappreciated or taken for granted. That will make a person look at you differently or feel as though you are using them. A part of the problem with taking someone for granted is you have become spoiled to their good deeds. Also, instead of asking, you hint around about your problems, hoping they will rescue you.  Not only that, never tell a person, "I don't have to ask because I know you will offer." That is a classic example of taking someone for granted. You are assuming they will be there for you. The sad part is you don't even know it, you have probably become spoiled to being treated very well by this person, something you're not used to, and so you slowly become ungrateful. 

It is natural to unconsciously take someone for granted especially if he/she is always nice to you, but if your loved one expresses this to you, it is because he/she feels it and has warned you. Now, if you deny taking someone for granted, chances are you will continue or until that person cuts you off or leaves. At that point, you realize your behavior, since now what you had is now gone. Whether you ask or not, no-one has to do anything for you. You should be grateful that someone loves you enough to help you.  Ungrateful people ruin relationships. 

At some point in our lives, we have all take someone for granted, and we are all taken for granted. What's more important is, when approached with this issue, don't deny or shy away. People know when they are taken for granted. Also, if the individual decides not to help you, leaving their presence is a great sign of not appreciating their efforts or being ungrateful.  It's almost like since you didn't help me I may as well leave. Not only is that being ungrateful, but it is also the behavior of someone who uses people. So, here is what I suggest you do if you feel someone takes you for granted.

-Discuss it with your partner/friend
-Stop helping that person
-Don't offer any more help, generally when you take something away from someone they learn to appreciate and not repeat the same behavior
-Learn to say no
-Don't sacrifice yourself
-Allow that person to find another way

At the end of the day, you will lose an excellent thing when you continue to take someone for granted. Also if you continue to give, you will start to feel used and then become angry, and that can lead to more problems. It's rude and selfish to take someone for granted, and the best way to teach someone like this is to take your kindness back and make them earn it. Let them see what they had.  So, appreciate what God has blessed you with and show your gratitude. Treat that person like today is their last day.

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

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