Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Sexual Abuse Survivors (Patterns & Behaviors)

Survivors of sexual abuse not only have triggers to deal with, there are patterns and behaviors developed after abuse and survivors have to be aware of them in order to change them. As a Victorious Leader of sexual abuse and all other forms of abuse, I will share the patterns and behaviors I developed as a result of being molested. But, before I do, please don't be alarmed if you "FIND" your behaviors listed within this blog. The good thing is, if you do, now is the time to make yourself aware and change them. I know for me I developed several behaviors that are no longer a part of my being. I am fully aware of how and why I exhibited these behaviors so with that I made change. Listed below are some of the patterns and behaviors I experienced after sexual abuse and are discussed in more detail in my book, Overcoming Toxic Relationships 
  • Promiscuity
  • Perfectionist/Controlling
  • Hyper-vigilant
  • Suicidal
  • Falling for Unavailable Men
  • People Pleaser (Difficult saying no)
  • Victim Minded (always feeling like a victim)
  • Acceptable to Secrecy
  • Addictions...Eating Disorders
  • Engaging in Risky Sexual Behavior
  • Difficulty Trusting Others
  • Difficulty Having Sex
  • Gossiping
  • Low Self-esteem
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lack of Self-love
  • Lack of trust
  • Eating Disorder
The list below are more patterns and behaviors that victims can or will develop after child abuse. 
  • Bi-polar
  • Loner/avoiding intimacy/sex
  • Spacing or zoning out
  • Always attracting chaos
  • Hyper-vigilant
  • Overly humorous
  • Workaholic
  • Self-mutilation
  • Compulsive liar
  • Compulsive Behaviors: eating disorders, gambling, drugs, alcohol, etc.
  • Over religious, using religion to avoid intimacy of any kind
  • Gossiping
  • Inability to set boundaries
  • Obsessed with love relationships
  • Problems sustaining a love relationship
  • Engaging in risky sexual behavior (unprotected sex, sex with strangers)
  • Falling for unavailable men
  • Difficulty having sex
  • Feeling older than your peers
  • Self-hatred (Bodily neglect)
  • Trouble remembering abuse
If you have found that as a survivor you exhibit some of the behaviors listed above, again, don't be alarmed; take the necessary steps to move forward. If you haven't healed from your past pain, and are interested in healing, please visit my website as I would love to be your Coach and walk the journey with you. Don't ever feel bad for experiencing life as it is and.or was. Pain is pain and every one experiences it. Whether is was abuse, a death, job loss, home foreclosure etc., pain is pain. The goal is to go back to find something positive from that pain. In order to do so, you must process it first. If the emotions you are experiencing are not good for you, ask yourself a few questions.

1. What does this emotion do for me?
2. Why am I holding on to a negative emotion?
3. What can I learn from this emotion?

After answering the listed questions, it is time to control and manage your emotions. In essence, abuse hurts the soul, but your emotions and perception of it is what will control your mind and overall life; release. 

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities.

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

Contact me for more details.
773.419.3070
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul

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