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One of the most common effects a victim of sexual abuse will experience is promiscuity. Being seduced and manipulated into sexual acts tends to cause a confused feeling about sex. Victims either become promiscuous or withdrawn. Not only that, being taught sex at an early age is like being introduced to heroin, you may develop an addiction. As an adult, most do not make the connection and what happens is one may find themselves believing sex will lead to love, or accepting abuse in a relationship.
In my case, I became promiscuous, but withdrawn from certain sexual acts. Unfortunately, my body began to enjoy the pleasure and my mind began to think it was right. Not only that, the shame, guilt and worthless feeling lead me to believe that no-one would love me unless I gave them my body. I not only slept with many men, I had a difficult time saying no. I didn't understand how important my body was since it was violated at such an early age; with that I had unprotected sex and we know that leads to a great risk of becoming infected with a disease or becoming pregnant. I thought having sex was the thing to do and it didn't matter who it was, if they were ugly, cute, fat or skinny. Sex eventually became a weapon for me. I used my body to make men like me and then I dismissed them. The sad part about that is I was really hurting and abusing myself, but somewhere in my mind I thought I was taking my power back. This behavior continued on into my late twenties and finally after years of reading and research, I discovered I had very low self-esteem. I was seeking love through sex. I lacked self-love and had no understanding of what self-respect was. The abuse interrupted my mental growth and understanding of what sex really was.
The damage extends to the sexual abuse survivor's sense of their own sexuality. Many survivors also have trouble pursuing adult relationships and enjoying sex as an adult. The abuse can color a person's sexuality preventing the survivor from pursuing a healthy sex life with a loving partner. As an adult survivor of sexual abuse you may want to ask yourself a few questions.
- Are you being promiscuous as a way to get even?
- Are you being promiscuous as a continuation of your lack of self-esteem?
- Is promiscuity a temporary outlet or does it continue into and through adulthood?
- Does it threaten potentially serious relationships or your marriage?
- Is it difficult to say "no" to sex?
- Do you feel worthless after sex?
- Do you believe having sex will lead to a loving relationship?
- Do you have sex because you want or because someone else wants to?
- Are you sexually driven?
I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities.
“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”
Contact me for more details.
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul
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