Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Negative Minded People

Do you have negative friends or family member? Well, most of us do and the thing is these people are more than likely in pain and/ or bitter at heart. They speak so much negativity; they are unaware of the potential damage they cause. Many are harboring bad emotions from past painful experiences and have become accustomed to speaking and behaving negatively. This type of behavior would anger anyone, but in my experience, it is better to not take it personal as negative minded individuals need love, support and retraining. Some are born into these conditions and have no understanding of the harm they are causing themselves, let alone someone else. So, don't take it personal just know, this person has personal issues and is just projecting their pain onto you. 

Some of the common words or phrases that one will hear when interacting with these people are.

  1. You can't do that
  2. That will not work
  3. I can't do that
  4. You are wasting your time
  5. You are stupid
  6. That's dumb
  7. Just give up
  8. You aint worth nothing
  9. You can’t have everything you want
  10. It’s just not possible
  11. Your expectations are too high
  12. You don't deserve it
  13. Life sucks
  14. Everything is too expensive
  15. I'm never going to be happy

Those are just a few of the negative, or non-supportive phrases that negative minded people use.  

At some point in life, or in child hood, they were probably abused, undermined and down-played by either parent or lovers/spouses etc. But, I can guarantee there are some unresolved issues relating to pain. People that are born into these environments become conditioned to the negative mindset as it is all they have heard. You have a few choices when dealing with negative minded people and I will list them below. Constant association with negative minded people will rub off, drain you and damage your spirit. Some don't realize they have an issue and until the issue is acknowledged by them, denial is all you get. There are some who are aware of their negative behaviors and since they have been that way for so long, change may be difficult. 

Here are some possible ways of dealing with negative people.
  1. Diffuse their negative comments with positive comments
  2. Don't be offended, know it’s not personal as they have personal issues
  3. Don't argue with them
  4. Reduce contact
  5. Offer to help to them
  6. Have compassion 
  7. Avoid them all together
  8. Remind then that they are being negative
  9. Refrain from becoming angry
  10. Don't respond
Although it might be better to avoid negative minded people, it is also a good idea to offer help, especially if the individual is a loved one. On the contrary, if he or she refuses to see the problem for what it is, staying away is your best solution. You can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped. In my past experience, I have tried and it was very draining and painful. Negative minded people have no good energy to give, so even if you love them, they have nothing to give back. You will find yourself empty as you attempt to fill their hearts with love. 

If after reading this blog, you see yourself, don't be alarmed. Focus on changing your mindset as thoughts become things. What you focus on is exactly what you will get. If you focus on life is horrible, or women being untrustworthy or men being dogs that is exactly what will continue to present itself. Instead, focus on what you want in your life, the good things. If you want to be happy, speak it and believe that it is already yours. You are in control of your life and ultimately your thoughts and beliefs create the life you either want, or don't want. 

I am not only a Certified Life Coach, Author and Speaker; I have conquered thirty years of abuse; including incest, rape, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, and two domestic violence relationships. Today, my vision is to empower you to reach emotional freedom while gaining clarity and discovering your infinite possibilities. 

“What happened; didn't happen to me, it happened FOR me and today my mission is to guide you to design a healthy, meaningful life through knowledge, consciousness, self-reflection, accountability, self-love and forgiveness.”

773.419.3070 Contact me for more details.
Healing the Mind, Body & Soul
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